Photo credit Ben Salter, Flickr
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Our Goals
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We intend to:
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The Setting
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Strategies vary depending on the circumstances of an incident.
We outline suggestions for responding
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Photo credit Faizal Riza, Flickr
In Schools and Workplaces
Photo credit Jack Lancto

1) In schools where violence is likely to occur, follow the steps outlined above.
2) Many schools and workplaces have environments that are overtly or covertly hostile but do not cross over into physical violence. One cause of the recent upsurge in harassment is a perceived permission from the culture that makes the behavior normal and acceptable. The primary goal in these circumstances is to provide emotional support to persons targeted by intolerance and to challenge the culture that says it’s ok.
If someone is being harassed:
- Approach the person and ask if you can help
- Speak directly to the individual or group engaging in harassment and tell them to stop. Avoid escalating the situation, either at the time or in later conversations. Be firm but do not retaliate with similar generalizing or name-calling.
- Engage the person or group being targeted socially at lunch or in other conversations to indicate to them and the larger group that you are in solidarity.
- After the incident, ask the person who has been targeted what you can do to help. Don’t assume that you know.
- Report incidents to the appropriate authority yourself, or offer to accompany the person who has been targeted while they do so.
If offensive comments are being made:
- Have a simple statement prepared. You can say, “That makes me uncomfortable,” or “That comment doesn’t belong here,” or another statement that works for you in that setting.
- You can say, “I don’t agree. Can we revisit this another time?” Don’t change your body language or tone of voice. Then move on.
- Go back and revisit the conversation at another time, preferably in private and one-on-one. Don’t alter your relationship with the person or people making the comments. When you cut off relationship you lose the opportunity to persuade. The goal is to transform the conflict into positive change.
Interactions Among Strangers

Perhaps the most frightening examples occur in public places between people who don’t know one another. These occasions call for a courageous and careful response.
It is not always wise or necessary to confront the attacker directly. The primary goal is to de-escalate the situation and get the person targeted by the harassment to a safe place.
Note: Traditional Muslim custom discourages physical touch from strangers, particularly persons of the opposite gender. Be mindful of this when offering support.
- Call 911 if it appears the incident could or has escalated into violence
- Follow the steps outlined in this cartoon by Paris-based artist Maeril. While written about harassment directed at Muslims, these steps apply equally to other examples of harassment.
It is not always wise or necessary to confront the attacker directly. The primary goal is to de-escalate the situation and get the person targeted by the harassment to a safe place.
Note: Traditional Muslim custom discourages physical touch from strangers, particularly persons of the opposite gender. Be mindful of this when offering support.
Photo credit Faizal Riza, Flickr
With Family and Friends
Photo credit David Robert Bliwas
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Negative conversations with family and friends are usually about a group that is not present rather than directed toward someone who is present. The primary risk in responding is emotional, not physical. We’re afraid of losing those relationships or of feeling alone within the group. At the same time, we may have the opportunity for extended conversations which does not exist in other settings..
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After An Incident
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Whether or not you were present when an incident occurred, you can help create a healing space afterward.
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Further Resources
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For a pdf of the above, text only, click here.
For a pdf of a formatted reproducible booklet, including the cartoon, click here. This is a fold-and-insert project on 8.5x11" paper; no stapling required. Marshall Rosenberg engaged in peacebuilding in over 50 countries. Non-Violence: A Language of Life and Living Nonviolence are great resources. Courageous Conversations About Race by Glenn Singleton provides tested methods for dealing with racism in school settings. Teaching Tolerance is an educational project of the Southern Poverty Law Center, a longtime civil rights organization with a stellar history. They can be found at www.tolerance.org. |